Hello there. I'd have written sooner, but was focused on my other love, art. Anyhooo, just seconds before I began typing, I realized the topic I was going to discuss has been discussed by me before in a previous post. My memory frustrates me so; I can understand aging having an effect on it, but the other part is my own fault. (As always, Just Say No, kids.) But I don't dwell on it because what's done is done. I'm alive and I can continue being a pain in the ass to everyone around me.
So now I really don't have a topic, so I'll just let flow what comes to mind [insert your sarcastic joke here]. I sometimes get asked how I can be so positive all the time. It's as simple as this and doesn't take a whole blog to talk about but I'll try: You cannot possibly have died, in a physical and/or emotional sense, and come back being as miserable as you were prior to that event. Incidentally, I've done both. But that's not the point. The point is, once you realize that there is normally no going back from that, from death of the body or death of the spirit, and you look down at yourself and realize you made it, somehow, back to the living, that all the trivial things and bullshit just don't matter anymore. What matters is living, and doing so with gratitude and an open heart. I don't look for answers, I let them come to me. I don't waste my time wondering what if, I just LIVE. The gift of life is life itself. (Don't quote me on that last sentence, I think I ripped that off from something else I read. Again, memory....)
As I told someone in a private conversation this morning, I'm certainly not perfect; I have my days where murder seems like a better option. I still have trouble with...other people. But this is also why my circle is small, and close-knit. Because if I'm irritated by you then I just can't handle you and I choose not to. And the people I choose to surround myself with are also similarly positive people. And as someone close to me once told me long ago, you can't hang around with dogs and expect not to get fleas. Touche. And it's the absolute truth. There is peace in true happiness, you just have to be willing to work for it. It's not easy letting go of certain people, or things, but it is absolutely essential if all they can manage to do is rain on your parade. My life is all about me, and I'm certainly not going to let anyone, or anything, take what I deserve away from me.
As the mighty Metallica sang in their song, Escape, "Life's for my own to live my own way." Mmm hmm.
Now to practice my urban slang...Peace out. Until next time. Enjoy this little ditty while you're at it.
